Thembi Talk

Thembi Talk: Friends Can Be ‘Dumped’ Too

Whether your friends are loving, caring, funny, family-like friends – like the cast of F.R.I.E.N.D.S; or conniving, scheming, backstabbing BFFs like the cast of Gossip Girl, all friendships need to be analysed at some point.  I say this because as Jim Rohn said,

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”

Think about the people you call your friends,  and this is the part where you have to be completely honest with yourself and ask yourself this question about each one of them: ‘Why am I friends with this person?’ Did the answer just roll off your tongue with positivity or did you actually have to really think about it and justify your reasoning. Now ask yourself, ‘why is this person friends with me?’ If there was any kind of doubt or questionable reasoning as to why someone might be friends with you, or why you might be friends with them, then keep reading because that friend needs to be dumped and I’m about to school you on why!

I’ve always been the friend who will tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear; so I’m going to do my readers a favour because some of you may need to hear this:

  1. Do you have a friend whose maturity level doesn’t necessarily match yours? – that’s already a red flag so drop em!
  2. Are you friends with someone out of pity  because no one else is friends with them? There’s always a reason why. Drop em!
  3. Are you all of a sudden friends or hanging out with someone on the basis that you don’t “f*ck with” or like the same person? That’s not genuine. Drop em!
  4. Are you friends with someone who you take advantage of, or who takes advantage of you? Not fair either way. Drop em!
  5. All groups of friends gossip here and there but does your entire friendship consist of nothing other than constant gossip? That’s draining. Drop em!
  6. Does drama always follow your friend or is he or she constantly looking to start drama? That’s annoying. Drop em!
  7. Is your friend constantly judging you or bringing you down? That’s not good for the soul. Drop em!
  8. A friend may not like the person you’re dating, or agree with some of your life choices, but should always be supportive and be there when needed. If not. Drop em!
  9. Does your friend tell you things about other people that’s none of your business? What makes you think they won’t tell your business either? Drop em!
  10. Do you have a friend who always wants to one up you or thinks that the friendship is a competition? Like Oprah said, you can’t be friends with someone who wants your life. Yup, you guessed it. Drop em!

Are you the friend in any of the above? You need to be dropped! My point is, real friendships are supposed to be genuine. I can’t stress that point enough. Now I’m not saying stop being friends with someone the minute you get into an argument – because arguments and fall outs do happen. What I’m saying is there are healthy friendships, and unhealthy friendships.  What’s important is to know the difference, and being able to address a situation maturely, and move forward from it ONLY if it’s a healthy, genuine friendship. 


Ps. If your friends are anything like mine, you’re some lucky bitches!

Keep it cute, Keep it classy!💋


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